For better

 

FOR BETTER 

     Our faith is in Jesus, He is the central figure and theme of Christianity. So, it is important we know Him and why we need salvation through Him. And to aid us in that pursuit, God has given us the Bible.

 

     As Nazarenes, we believe God has inspired all 66 books in the Bible. Both the Old and New Testaments reveal God’s will to us, inerrantly displaying all things necessary for our salvation. If we want to know God’s will for our lives, we must know Jesus and allow the Holy Spirit to reveal Him to us through the Scriptures.

 

     In our passage today, Jesus will be tested by students of the Scriptures, albeit the Old Testament, who are trying to trap our Lord into a camp’s interpretation. Much like what happens in our day. But Jesus will appeal to the same Scriptures and reveal God’s will.

 

     Matthew 19:1-12 (CSB)

 

When Jesus had finished saying these things, he departed from Galilee and went to the region of Judea across the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. Some Pharisees approached to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any ground?”

 

     “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that he who created them male and female, in the beginning, made them male and female,” and he also said, “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

 

     “Why then,” they asked him, “did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?”

 

     He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts, but it was not like that from the beginning. I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”

 

     His disciples said to him, “If the relationship of a man with his wife is like this, it’s better not to marry.”

 

     He responded, “Not everyone can accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, some eunuchs were made by man, and some eunuchs have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept it should accept it.”

 

 

This is the Word of God.

For the people of God.

Thanks be to God.

 

 

     The Pharisees are trying to trap Jesus in one of their camps. At the center of the debate is Deuteronomy 24:1, which says, “If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away.” These words of Moses from the law were interpreted by the conservative camp to mean that if a woman commits adultery, then divorce was permissible. The other, more liberal camp interpreted it to mean a man could leave his wife for whatever cause that displeased him. One verse, two camps, and a big debate.

 

     Jesus was not impressed with the interpretation of either camp. They were so focused on divorce, so accepting of the practice of it, that they missed the greater issue, marriage. Appealing to God’s will in scripture, Jesus begins to teach them about the legitimacy of marriage.

 

     In verses 4 through 6, Jesus reveals God’s will for marriage stated in Genesis. One man was to be married to one woman with the two united for one life. Together they reflected the image of God. Remember, our God is triune, meaning there is one God who is revealed as Father, Spirit, and Son. All three are fully God, collectively and individually. Each equally God, but one. This is God’s will for them, and divorce would be a violation of His will. And to knowingly violate God’s will is a sin.

 

     This was not the response the Pharisees were looking for; it did not solve their debate. “Why then did Moses command us to give divorce paper and to send her away?” The Pharisees knew the law, and it seemed God’s will for marriage and this command from Moses were in conflict. But notice Jesus points out in verse 9 that this was a command from Moses, it was a concession.

 

     Moses gave them a provision for divorce and permission is much different than a command. A command would have expressed God’s will, permission is given as a mercy in response to the sinfulness of people. This protected women from far worse outcomes, such as murder, abuse, and neglect. And the requirement for the man to hand his wife divorce papers was an effort to make the man consider his actions and the impact they would have on him and his wife.

 

     Divorce was to be a last resort because of what it revealed. Even though it was the lesser of many other possible evils, divorce exposed the hardness of heart in either the man or the woman. And this hardness of heart led to the death of the one life that resulted from the marriage covenant. Death grieves God.

 

     At this point, the Pharisees had no further questions or comments. The disciples had been listening and they threw out this observation in verse 10: “If the relationship of a man with his wife is like this, it’s better not to marry.” Listening to Jesus share God’s will and that divorce grieved His heart, the disciples realized Jesus was suggesting marriage should come with no escape clause in mind. Each of the disciples had been handpicked to follow Jesus, willingly joining, but their response revealed the worldliness in their hearts and the broken pattern established in their minds.

 

     Jesus does not dispute their words. In verse 11, Jesus says, “Not everyone can accept this saying, but only to those to whom it is given.” Essentially, Jesus is saying it is better not to enter a marriage if it is a bad marriage or if you are going to enter the covenant while still holding onto a way out.

 

     He goes on to talk about those who choose celibacy. Eunuchs were those who lived a celibate life. Often they were employed to take care of the bed chambers for queens and princesses. Some were Eunuchs because that is how they were born. Others were eunuchs because they had endured the physical cruelty of people who forced them into that life. And the last group was like Jesus, those who were capable of marriage but chose to remain single in service to God.

 

     Two things to consider about this for us now. First, the choice to remain single in service to God is made from love for God. It is not a choice to remain single and pursue the physical outside of marriage, as defined by God. Rather, it is a forsaking of those physical desires in total devotion to God. Second, the phrase “made that way by men” may not be referring to the physical mutilation experienced by those in antiquity. Certainly, that is possible. But in our modern context, perhaps a person has endured mental and emotional trauma that has led them to a decision to remain single. This is acceptable before God, making such a person no less whole in their standing with God than those who enter the marriage covenant.

 

     How could that be so? The concept of singleness and wholeness seem foreign to us outside of finding that special someone. Our assumption is that our husband or wife exists to complete us. If a person remains single, then how can that person be whole?

 

     This statement will be shocking, but my wife does not complete me. She brings great value to my life, and it is certainly more enjoyable to journey through with her companionship. But she does not complete me, nor is it possible for her to do so. My life was made whole when I decided to follow Jesus. Jesus makes me whole, filling the giant God-shaped hole in my heart, and faith in Jesus makes my wife whole. Our marriage is me whole in Jesus choosing to love my wife who is also whole in Jesus. She is not my wife because I count on her to make me happy or any other thing she can give me. We both entered this covenant as whole individuals uniting in love. Yes, we are one flesh, but we are one in the bond of love, a choice made and being made daily.

 

     Love is the choice that sustains marriage. And it is the only thing that will. If marriage is based on our spouses making us happy, what happens when they do not make us happy? It opens the door for the temptation to do evil to our spouse, to force them into submission. Force may work for a while, but only as long as fear holds them. But no healthy and God-honoring relationship will survive the rule of fear. Ultimately, that can lead to divorce, the choice that grieves God.

 

     God’s Word reveals to us that marriage is a choice to love someone and spend the entirety of life together. Love casts out fear because it is patient, kind, trusting, humble, considerate, selfless, and forgiving. And when we enter marriage, the choice we made is not based on what the other person offers us, nor is it based on how they make us feel. We choose to love again and again because that is the choice we made before God to do with our lives.

 

     I know this is a high standard. And I am not naïve about the brokenness that exists in the world. Relationships are complicated, and greatly influenced by sin and broken patterns. Many of us in this room are divorced. Some of us divorced and remarried, what are we supposed to do with a high standard like this? Some of you may have been in relationships that were dead, killed by neglect, abuse, or other factors and now find yourself single. What are you supposed to do with a high standard like this? There might be some who have been or are in relationships living together but are not married. Maybe there are even kids. What are you supposed to do with a high standard like this?

 

     In this room are others who enjoyed the privilege and honor of love in marriage but now you the pain of enduring alone. Perhaps some are here who are single and do not want to be, or you choose to be single. You may know that God has made you whole through Jesus, but that does not stop the loneliness. What are you supposed to do with a message like this?

 

     The answer is the same for everyone. God is saying, “My grace is sufficient for you.” In your current marriage with all the fights and mistrust, God is saying my grace is sufficient for you. In your single-ness, God is saying, “My grace is sufficient for you.” Your heart might be hurting because of the grief that grips you with your beloved passing, and God is saying my grace is sufficient for you.”

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